Root & Reach: Parenting Teens Newsletter, May 21st
Because joining a village during the teen years is vital self-care, and yes, parenting teens can be fun.
How’s your week going?
No really—how are you?
Sometimes I write to you with stories from my parenting journey or insights from my coaching work. But this week, I’ve been doing a little reflecting behind the scenes. Less about my kids, and more about this space—our village.
I started this Substack because I wanted to create a warm corner of the internet where parents of teens could land and feel seen. A place for honesty, shared stories, practical support, and maybe a few laugh-out-loud moments that remind us we're not failing—just figuring it out in real time.
But here’s what I’ve been wondering lately:
How do we turn this from a one-way conversation into a two-way connection?
How do I get more of you to hit “reply,” leave a comment, or just say hi?
How do we build a little more fire around this virtual village so it feels like yours, not just mine?
Because I know you’re out there—I see the subscriber count, I see the clicks—but what I crave (and I suspect some of you do too) is real dialogue. The kind where you hear something that hits and say, “YES! That’s me!” Or even, “Oof, not quite for me, but here’s what I’ve been wrestling with…”
We need each other. This teen parenting thing wasn’t meant to be done solo. And frankly, neither is writing.
So I’m putting this out there today not with answers, but with a genuine ask:
Would you be willing to leave a comment?
Even just a word or two. A “This landed.” Or a “Tell me more about…” Or “You forgot the part where teens roll their eyes so hard they sprain something.”
Your voice matters. And I want to make sure this space reflects you, not just me.
And in case no one’s told you this week:
You’re doing a good job. Even when it doesn’t feel like it.
Especially when it doesn’t feel like it.
Thanks for being here. Thanks for reading. And thanks—maybe—for speaking up.
With so much appreciation,
Ashley
A One-Day Positive Discipline Workshop Is Coming!
Click on the Image to hold your spot—Only a few spots are being offered!
🧠 Featured Article: “Navigating the Maze” — Understanding the Teen Brain
May is Mental Health Awareness Month, and what better time to take a little refresher course on what’s actually happening inside your teen’s brain?
In “Navigating the Maze”, I break down the wild and wonderful neuroscience behind adolescence—what’s developing, what’s still under construction, and why your teen might go from sweet to salty in six seconds flat.
If you’ve ever wondered, “Am I going crazy?” the answer is no. Your teen’s brain is just doing what it’s supposed to do—and this article is here to help you make sense of it all.
✨ Read it here and exhale. You’re not alone in this labyrinth.
🧠 This Week’s Parenting Insight:
How to Get Teens to Do Their Chores (Without Nagging, Bribing, or Losing Your Mind)
If you’ve ever looked at a pile of laundry, a crusty plate under your teen’s bed, and thought, “Is it me? Am I the maid?”—this one’s for you.
In this week’s post, we’re tossing out the power struggles and stepping into something better: structure that respects your teen’s autonomy while still getting stuff done.
You’ll learn:
Why nagging and bribing actually backfire (even if they kind of work short-term)
How to create a Chore Agreement rooted in clarity, not control
Simple shifts in language that invite buy-in (instead of battles)
And yes—how to parent with less noise and more follow-through
🎁 BONUS for Paid Subscribers:
The No-Nag To-Do List (Printable)
A minimalist, dopamine-activating, fridge-friendly checklist that:
Helps your teen take ownership
Removes you from the role of “reminder-in-chief”
Restores peace, one unchecked box at a time
💡 Upgrade to the paid tier to download your copy.
👉 This week, let the list do the talking. You’ve got better things to do than beg someone to take out the trash.
🔍 The Parent Compass: My Web Finds This Week
Each week, I’m on the lookout for insightful, inspiring, and genuinely helpful resources to support you on your parenting journey. From expert articles and thought-provoking podcasts to must-read books, teen-friendly tools, and little gems I stumble upon, I’ll be sharing my best finds straight to your inbox. Consider this your shortcut to the good stuff—no endless scrolling required!
Keep an eye out for something new each week, and if you love it, feel free to share it with a fellow parent who could use a little extra support (or a good laugh). 💛
🧭 Web Find of the Week: Download a Hope Map
Some of us like to dabble in our own self-help (guilty 🙋♀️), and this one's a gem. The Hope Map is a simple, science-backed tool that helps you (or your teen!) connect today’s actions to tomorrow’s goals—without relying only on willpower. Research shows that hope fuels success in school, work, and life by combining agency (your drive) with pathways (your plan). This printable activity builds motivation, boosts a sense of control, and strengthens persistence through challenges.
✨ Download the Hope Map here and start thinking like someone who believes better days are possible and doable.
🎧 Web Find of the Week: Is Your Child Ready for Tech?
Feeling unsure about when (or if) to hand your kid a screen? You’re not alone—and this episode of Screen Deep with Dr. Jenny Radesky is a must-listen. A pediatrician and expert on kids and media, Dr. Radesky breaks down how to tell if your child is developmentally ready for tech, what to look for before giving your tween a smartphone, and why using screens as a calming tool might backfire in the long run. She also offers smart ways to assess media quality and what to do instead of just setting time limits.
🎙️ Listen here: Assessing Child Readiness for Tech – Screen Deep Podcast
👀 A great resource for parents trying to raise digitally balanced kids without losing their minds.
🧘♀️ Web Find of the Week: A Meditation for Tough Talks with Your Teen
If you're gearing up for that conversation—the one you’ve been putting off because you know it might get messy—this 10-minute meditation is for you. In it, I guide you through grounding your nervous system, clarifying your intention, and tapping into a calmer, more compassionate version of yourself before you step in. Because let’s be honest: when emotions run high, our best parenting selves tend to run for the hills.
🎧 Listen here
A quick reset to help you lead with connection, not control.
“This makes sense, what you’re saying, and I understand what you mean.” - Discussing the difference between risk and recklessness with a teen client.
So if you’re feeling a little disconnected—not just from your teen, but from community—you’re not alone. Building something meaningful takes time, and showing up (even with a simple comment or reply) matters. It’s how we create the village we all need.
The goal isn’t to have all the answers. It’s to keep showing up, to keep reaching out, and to remind yourself that your voice has value—here and at home.
Keep going. Keep sharing. You’re part of something important.
Love all you write, stand for, and do! Wondering if it is all transferable to pre-teens too.
Thank you! Yes, much of what I speak about works with pre-teens. One of the differences is that teens are individuating at a faster rate, and therefore, the connection between parents and kids can feel more like you're walking on eggshells.