To the Parents Whose Kids Won’t Win Awards: I See You

It will get better

Photo by Zachary Kadolph on Unsplash

It’s the end of the school year—the time when social media lights up with highlight reels: graduation caps flying, scholarships earned, awards clutched tightly in proud hands, college decisions celebrated like Olympic victories.

And maybe you’re sitting there… just proud your kid made it to school most days.

No honors society. No AP medals. No “most improved” or “class leader.” Just a quiet victory that looks more like showing up late but showing up at all. Or maybe they’re not even going. Maybe you’re still in the trenches, begging them to get out of bed, to turn in something, to care—just a little.

If that’s you: I see you.

I see the way you flinch when another parent posts about their kid getting into Stanford, while you’re trying to figure out how to get yours to brush their teeth before noon. I see the pride and the pain tangled up inside you. I see the way your heart aches when people ask about your child and you don’t know how to answer without sounding like an apology. I see the fear that maybe you’re doing something wrong… or worse, that maybe your kid is just “not going anywhere.”

Let me tell you something radical: Not every path is paved with gold stars and honor rolls.

Photo by Mark König on Unsplash

Some paths are wild and messy. They zig when you thought they’d zag. They drop into deep valleys and then shoot up into skies you never imagined.

I know because that was my path.

I didn’t win any academic awards growing up. I spent my elementary years learning how to dodge learning altogether—choosing dance, drumming, and art over reading or math. In middle school, I didn’t learn how to study. I learned how to work the system. High school? I was mostly in the hallway, kicked out of class for talking too much, or in study hall for breaking the rules.

I pushed boundaries so hard I practically knocked them over. I was constantly in trouble, constantly testing, constantly looking for something—someone—to show me I was more than my mistakes.

And yet here I am: a successful adult, doing work that matters deeply to me, guiding teens and supporting parents because of that messy, non-linear journey. Not in spite of it.

I didn’t learn how to thrive in a conventional classroom, but I learned how to:

• Read people

• Adapt quickly

• Get creative under pressure

• Repair relationships

• Keep going when the going got really hard

Those are life skills you don’t get from a diploma. And they matter just as much—if not more.

So to the parents who are watching the year end and feeling like everyone else is at the finish line of some polished race while you’re still trying to find your shoes—I’m here to remind you:

Your kid isn’t behind. They’re on a different path.

One that might be longer or windier, one that might involve detours or breakdowns—but one that can absolutely lead to a rich, meaningful, successful life.

So when the world seems to celebrate only the “top of the class,” celebrate your kid for the quiet, gritty victories they are having:

• For every day they tried

• For every class they stayed in

• For every meltdown they bounced back from

• For every moment they let you in, even just a little

And celebrate yourself, too. For showing up every day. For loving them through the hard. For staying by their side when you feel completely alone in the way you’re parenting.

You are doing sacred work.

From one former “that kid” to the parents raising them now: don’t give up. Don’t compare. Don’t judge. Just walk beside us. Believe in us. Love us hard, even when we act like we don’t want it.

And ten years from now, I promise—we’ll laugh together.
We’ll remember the hard right turns and the curved roads that brought us somewhere beautiful.

You’ve got this.
And so does your kid.

With love and belief,
Ashley Radzat
www.radzatconsulting.com

---

💌 Want more support like this?

Subscribe to Root & Reach for weekly, real-talk reflections on parenting teens, reclaiming your power, and walking beside your kids through the mess and the magic.

👉 Subscribe now

---